Monday, November 15, 2010

Rodent 101: How to Entice, Ensnare, and Exterminate


When the seasons change, you get new pets. We are not talking about a cute little chef with a French accent, any great detectives, or the heartwarming tale of Feivel. They are not sweet, do not break out into song, or help sew any of my dresses for the big ball. They are creepy and gross andwill be evicted one way or another. Since we havehadfive Mickeys in the past few weeks, we have developed a little bit of a system that would be downright cruel to keep to ourselves and not share with the general public.

Step 1: Decide what type of trap to use. Poison is effective, but then you do run the risks of mickey dying and decaying in your walls and you will need a gasmask to breathe, let alone no one will come visit you for weeks. Sticky traps initially seem great, but many a mickey has been known to chew his legs off in a failed escape attempt and left a bloody trail with its nubs. No thanks. What I recommend is the good ole-fashioned snap trap. I think it's a little morehumane.
Step 2: Decide what Mickey's last meal will be. I have tried quite the spread : cheddar cheese, peanut butter, chocolate cake, etc. What I have found most effective is mixing a little ham with some cream cheese. This tasty little hors d'oeuvre is unexpected and hard for Mickey to resist.

Step 3: Find the money spot where Mickey will most likely tread, set the trap, and wait......

Step 4: Try not to be the first one up-- thereby making your roommate see how successful your hunting endeavors were.

Step 5: Disposal. This actually is multiple steps rolled into one. I like to start off wearing the proper equipment: rain boots and rubber gloves. Then you toss a paper towel over the multilated corpse so you don't have to see it. Grab the nearby swiffer and nudge it close to you. Gain any composure you may have lost and pray for courage as you pick it up and drop it in the target bag. Now run downstairs and bury him in the dumpster.


As simple as that. Five steps that will change your life :)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Running Club.....Why did I quit you?

Lonestar's lyrics have been swimming around my mind lately as people from all over the world flooded the big apple to participate in a little thing called.......the NYC Marathon. It all sounds amazing- the route- you run through all five burroughs- the crazy energy- literally thousands of people cheering you on- the accomplishment- I mean 26 miles! It plays with my emotions and makes me say, "Can I go ahead and sign up for next year?!!" And that's where I remember, 26 miles. Reality sinks in as I tell myself, "Michelle, you can only run between 2 and 3." Then I reminisce about the 9 year old version of myself and a little thing called.........running club.

Running Club was invented at Jackson Academy in the early 90s to create an easy before and after school program for kids to get more exercise and moms to have more time in their day. I saw it as this amazing opportunity for another hobby besides my stellar rock collection. Day one....the adrenaline kicked in and I was hooked. I wanted to get dropped off every morning before school and stay after to run my little heart out. And that is exactly what I did. Oh, I ran 181 miles that year, set a school record, and had a plaque with my name on it. And yes, I was 9 years old. This victory inspired me to enter into the Mississippi Track Club and compete in quite a few fun runs around the Metro-Jackson area, collecting various trophies, ribbons, and t-shirts (naturally, the real prize and proof that you're an all-star). "Impressive, you must have been so fast," you may be thinking to yourself. No, not really. Shockingly, there wasn't a lot of competition among the 9 year old crowd. Unless you count my arch nemesis (later turned best friend) Sandra- she started gaining on me towards the end of my career. But I was in love. I even remember thinking as I watched a Miss America Pageant that year that- not if- but when I entered (when I was old enough) - what would my talent be? The lightbulb went off as I realized- "I know! I will ask them to install a track around the audience while I run a mile. Brilliant! I bet no one has even thought to do that before!"

So what happened next? For reasons unknown I said goodbye to the track. I toyed around with Cross Country in junior high and high school, but I never quite attained the same glory as I did back in 3rd grade. If only I had stayed with it, I would be a freckled 5'3" girl running with the Kenyans now. If only! For now, I think I'll stick with my two-mile loop by the Hudson and keep saying hi to Lady Liberty. Alas, "I try not to think about what might have been, cause that was then and I have taken a different road, can't go back again, there's no use giving in, and there's no way to know......what might have been."

Monday, November 8, 2010

"If I can make it there, I'll make it any where"

Can't help but wonder if ole Frank had the New York winter in mind when he composed this catchy lyric. It began with the soft "tink tink" on my window unit, which became slightly more prominent with the howling wind outside. Oh yes, this noise was the byproduct of sleet- which this Mississippi girl has had her fair share of. Even though the temperature said it was around 40, I adamantly disagree and think it was much cooler. It's not so bad when your distance is from the front door to the car, but when you walk a mile to your destination, well, it changes things. I take back everything I ignorantly said in thinking it wouldn't be that bad or that much different that Georgia. The wind adds a lot- I halfway expected to see potential nannies fly by on their umbrellas. Even though it is around day one for winter here, I've discovered some valuable takeaways, if you will.

1. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I need to purchase a puffy coat and thereby adding around 50 pounds to my frame and looking like a giant marshmallow. Warmth is victorious over fashion. I even find myself pondering if I could somehow make a ski mask cute.
2. There is an art form to holding the umbrella the right way in the wind and horizontal rain. You may forgo your vision to feet only, but hey, if it keeps it from popping inside out, another victory.
3. My dog fever is subsiding. Sure everyone here seems to have this adorable "best friend" but the notion of waking up at 6 to walk it outside in this weather is well, confirming I'm not responsible enough yet. (Still hadn't worked through the idea of carrying the plastic baggies yet either).
4. I'm hopeful that my ears will continue to adjust to the interesting noises that the radiator supplies. It starts off with a lovely hissing noise from the top which resembles a steam engine. Then it moves on to the sound of someone throwing gold chains down a lead pipe. It does this whenever someone in my building turns on their heat. Awesome.

Despite a few setbacks, the idea of ice skating and snow are magical enough to make me not complain too much :)

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Even if you don't like the pie.......I'm 97% sure you will like these

So with fall still in the air, you are basically seasonally obligated to create delicious food made with pumpkin. I know I missed the mark in posting this back in October, but hey, it's still pre-Thanksgiving, so if any of you would like to make this stuff, there is still ample time. I usually make this for mulitiple events and people always love it (thanks to Aunt Leigh Ann sharing her recipe).

Pumpkin Sheet Cake

1 can (15 oz) solid-pack pumpkin
2 cups sugar
1 cup veg oil
4 eggs
2 cup flour
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp ground cinammon
1/2 tsp salt
(**I sometimes put in 12 oz of semi-sweet chocolate chips)

In mixing bowl, beat pumpkin, sugar and oil. Add eggs, mix well. Combine four, baking soda, cin. and salt- add to pumpkin mix and beat well until well blended. Pour into greased 9 by 13" pan. Bake at 350 for 25-30 min.
** you can make cupcakes instead- should make between 24 and 36 cupcakes
**also can make pumpkin bread instead and forgo the icing

Frosting:
4 oz cream cheese, softened
4 TBSP butter, softened
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups conf sugar
3-4 tsp milk (see how you like the consistency- can add more if wish)


*For frosting- i only use this recipe if I'm making the sheet cake- I will use a more solid cream cheese frosting if I'm doing cupcakes.

Pumpkin Pancakes


2 cups all-purpose flour
3 tablespoons brown sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground allspice
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups milk
1 cup pumpkin puree (i just substitue a cup of canned pumpkin)
1 egg
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 tablespoons vinegar

Mix pumpkin, milk, egg, veg oil, and vinegar. Combine dry ingredients in a separate bowl. Add together, mix well and scoop around 1/4 cup onto a medium hot griddle. You know the rest.

Hope you enjoy!