Lady on a Train

Today I was on the subway and since it wasn't a long ride, thought it would be nice to stand; so I didn't take the open seat on the crowded train. As I approached the seat and just grabbed the handrail, I quickly learned why the spot was vacant. There was an elderly woman sitting on the end who was homeless and she smelled awful, as if it'd been weeks since her last shower. The train approached the next stop rather quickly and another woman eagerly gets on, eyes the empty seat and asks me if I was going to take it. I tell her no, go ahead. Almost immediately she, not so discreetly, began to make a disgusted face and started to inch away from the woman. After a few more moments pass by, she can't take it anymore and gets up and walks to the other side of the train. I couldn't help but feel horrible for this woman, just imagining how many times this has probably happened to her. Probably every day of her life she faces people who avoid her at all costs, and look at her with physical disgust. I wish I would have thought quicker on my feet to at least say hi and ask her how she was doing. Unfortunately all I did was smile at her and not move away, as I kept wondering how many people actually acknowledge her existence. While next time I hope I act instead of just think, it has been really good thoughts. I have been reflecting all day how if what was inside of me was reflected on the outside, people would want to move away from me too. If what was on our hearts was truly seen to everyone around us, we would be making faces and avoiding each other constantly. Then I just kept thinking how incredibly blessed we are to have a God who not only doesn't avoid us when we are at our most repulsive, but how He actually embraces us. Romans 5:8 came alive: "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." So while I could write a lot more, I guess my two big takeaways from today were 1- how amazing God's love is for us and undeserving we all are and 2- a prayer for God to open my eyes- open all of our eyes to those around us who are hurting and who are the forgotten ones. How can God use us to love them? I really hope this doesn't sound too sermon-y but it has been on my mind all day and I'm trying to be better about blogging :)

Not so much planes, but plenty of trains and automobiles

City transportation? Is there anything quite like it? You can spend your whole life behind the wheel and yet nothing will quite prepare you for driving through the madness and neon majesty of Times' Square. Let's revisit last Friday. We had our annual fall retreat and I was somehow selected to drive a car. (Brilliant because I had been in the city how many days?) Walking a mile to pick up my little chevy malibu, no big deal, but driving it through Manhattan to the office, not so much fun. There is a need to keep the hands on the wheel at ten and two at all times, due to the fact that the psycho taxi cab drivers don't like to pick a lane and you need to help them resist colliding with you. It's like a real life version of Mario Cart. Tires squealing, horns blaring, pedestrians walking when the light is clearly red- it's entertaining and yet terrifying. On top of that add Obama visiting the city along with every diplomat and person of significance from Washington and you have about every street you want to turn down blockaded. I cried like a baby to a police officer to help me when the gps miserably failed me and I eventually made it. It has satisfied the urge to drive for at least 3 months.

Then let's move on to another form of transport: the SUBWAY. Grand Central Station is not just an expression you use when your phone rings off the hook. At 5 pm it turns into a place where people resemble cattle being herded into a pen. Personal space is a forgotten phrase and many a time your face is shoved into someone else's face in order to accommodate more riders. While it has it's downsides and I still sometimes can confuse the local and express and end up in Queens, I actually love the subway. It's so efficient and practical on one side and on another, it is a real opportunity to meet a wide range of people and be a small light of Christ- whether it's giving your apple to the homeless man or offering a tissue to the woman crying. I like being around such a variety of people and it reminds me of my insignificance and significance at the same time.

Lastly there is my favorite mode of transport: walking. My heels may disagree with me on this point, because they've been covered in bandaids for the last two weeks, but walking is so nice (minus the time I went to get groceries a mile away and it rained, my feet were bleeding and I basically looked like a wet dog by the time I was home- oh and my cardboard boxes were soggy). You've heard of road rage, well I've discovered here that there is a thing here called pedestrian rage. Every day men and women become frustrated with the people in front of them who aren't "walking with a purpose" and make lots of exasperated noises so everyone around them knows just how slow the person really is before they find a way to bypass them. It's kind of humorous. At the same time it's so weird how already I can find myself passing people who aren't fast enough for me. I have to remind myself to stroll sometimes and to listen and soak up my surroundings- what others are saying, the street noise- to really listen to the city in order to know the city.